Friday, March 6, 2015

Nothing

And just like the days before I felt nothing.  "Friends" it meant nothing to me.  I wanted it to mean something I wanted it to hurt and make me cry myself to sleep.
No.
Nothing is what I was left with after months of numbness.  I will admit he gave me butterflies which felt all to sweet to last.  I understand the reason and I don't judge seeing as they are much simpler than mine.  He was to kind to be real and we all know that good girls don't get the good guys.  So as adolescent nature took it's course once again I was left in my bed of nothing while his shoulders were free of a weight of nothing holding him down.  And tomorrow I will smile and laugh and no one will know that the girl inside is begging to go.  I will watch as he stays close to me and I will die each time he breaths.  I will suffer through each and every hour and wait until I am free at last for two whole days by myself.  I will sit in nothing and write every single thing that I fight.  And for nothing I will write so much about the things I know and the things to come.  So as he closes his eyes tonight for a peaceful night of sleep I will close mine to a night of nothing fill insomnia.  And for the days to come I learn to live with my nothing song playing like the soundtrack to the movie that is my life. 

3 comments:

  1. This sounds like a complicated relationship, as well as a complicated time for you, Kristin. So many emotions are swirling.

    I hope you find some peace and relaxation this weekend.

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  2. Nothing seems to be a place you know well. Hoping for something to fill your empty spaces . . . maybe writing can be the way through.

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  3. Another beautiful piece. I love the last line: the "nothing song". And, "I was left in my bed of nothing while his shoulders were free of a weight of nothing holding him down."
    I hope, if you are feeling this kind of nothing, it passes soon.

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