Friday, November 18, 2016

Lessons

Sometimes I think about what I have put up with.  The names I've been called.  The people who have laughed at me.  The things they have done to me.  The hurt they have caused me.  Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it.  Staying by those people.  Should I have walked away sooner?  Did they deserve my company.  Sometimes I think they needed me.  Like I gave them a lesson to learn.  I think like this because they taught me, in so many ways.  They were some of my best teachers.  But they were also some of my greatest mistakes.  Some taught me compassion through the names that they called me.  Because their lives were harder than mine.  Some taught me respect through the swollen palm mark they left on my face.  Because they new not of peace.  Some taught me forgiveness through arguments we had.  Because communication was always their issue.  Sometimes I think about what I have put up with.  I wonder if I deserved all of it.  The names they called me taught me self worth.  When they laughed they taught me compassion.  The things they did to me taught me forgiveness.  The hurt they caused me showed me that life goes on.  They all tore me down.  Watched as I fell into a black hole.  Now they get to watch me do the impossible.  They get to see me climb out of that hole and make a new life without them.  Sometimes I think about what I have put up with and I wonder how I lived like that for so long.  How the hurt never caught up to me sooner.  How I didn't say something when something needed to be said.  The things they did and the words they said might have tore me down and they might have hindered my happiness but they taught me lessons.  And I never seemed to learn lessons the easy way.  I have had roughness forced upon me in all aspects of life.  And I have overcome it every time.  So when I think about what I have put up with I know that I was all in serves of some lesson.  Sometimes I think about what I have put up with and I resent it but most times I surrender myself to the lesson and I overcome.

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